Changes

Going to another country to teach English, or work in any field, can have some unexpected surprizes. Very little is concrete, in fact.
I know that what I experience here in Japan is a combination of what choices are made for me and those I must accept (which are not always the same thing), and the choices I make for myself. It reminds me of the prayer that mom used to always say, God grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change and have the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.
Here, I constantly wonder why, for example, my supervisor tells me that when the school has its Christmas party I will have already left. She goes out of her way to inform me about details such as when, where, and how the party will be. She even asks me if I would like to sign up for it. I remind her, as she reminded me just moments ago, I will not be in the country. All the while, I must painfully regulate my English so that we can communicate. It is my fault, afterall, for not studying Japanese a little harder. The point is, I cannot change my supervisor's personality or her attention to unnecessary details. I cannot change the fact that I am expected to be a typical American yet perform according to Japanese standards. I cannot change some of the things that frustrate me most about this country, such as the larger phenomenons of racism and ignorance, empty consumerism, self flagelation and depreciation, social controls and dependency, and the speed with which the gas company shuts off my gas if my bill sits in my mailbox a day too long...
Among Assistant Language Teachers and other foreigners, it is nauseatingly fashionable to declare superiority over Japanese society. I'm not trying to focus on any unattractive points of my experience in this country. My idea is to identify things I cannot change, and conversely, focus on the things I can change. Coming to Japan, I had no idea what my job would be like. Luckily, I have had several opportunities to find other more meaningful situations where I can develop my teaching experience. And, I've been able to create them on my own terms. Here, I've been thrown into a new country, new culture, new language, and although I may not realize it, as time passes here I am absorbing alot of new ideas about how life is lived in this part of the world. Because I studied for the Japanese Language Proficiency Test and because of every day interactions, I have the chance to pick up one of the world's most difficult languages. And even though I am far away from family and friends, the ones who love me most will realize this experience is good for us all, as I bring another part of the world home to share.
Although the last few weeks have been rough with studying, getting sick, realizing my JET job isn't all I had hoped (even though I promised myself to walk in with no expectations), and missing "home," I can honestly say I'm also able to look at this experience as an opportunity to make changes where I can, and learn to see and deal with what I can't.
Maybe I'm finally adjusting to life here.
But with that said, there's just over a week left until I'm on a plane home for the holidays. Thank God.