Public Bath

Tonight I went to a sento, or public bath house.  It was good timing to try it, because the gas company shut off my apartment's gas last Friday (four days ago) because I didn't pay my gas bill for 3 months. That means no hot water! I couldn't read the bills because they were all in Japanese. Now I know what they look like and have paid, but I am still waiting for the gas to be turned back on.


Imagine leaving all your clothing in a locker and walking into a large open room with several different, large bath tubs. There are several middle-aged and older women (or men, if you go to the men's side), also naked, and you don't speak the same language. You don't know the rules of behavior. They stare at you when you walk in because you are may be the first and only foreigner they've seen in their local neighborhood sento.


Since I couldn't really just ask, I tried to observe some sento etiquette. First, you must sit at one of the faucets and scrub yourself with soap and a wash cloth for a very long time. No one was shaving or doing anything other than scrubbing, so I followed suit. Then after you are really clean, you can enter one of the many different baths. It seemed that women would alternate between a bath and rinsing off. There were two plain baths - one cold, one hot. There was a "relax-bath" like a jacuzzi.  There was a separate room with a "lavender" bath. There was even an electrified bath - which I found out about by surprise after entering the water and experiencing shocks all over my body. I freaked out and got out, thinking I wasn't supposed to be in the water if it was electrified - I couldn't figure out why you would want to bathe in electrified water. It seemed to go against every hair-dryer warning label I have ever seen. But after observing for a little while more, I noticed other women going in for an electrified dip.


It seems like unless they know each other, women don't really talk much in the sento. Unless someone joins you in a small communal bath area, which was the case in the lavender bath. A very skinny 70-something woman with pixie-short hair joined me and said something in quick, colloquial Japanese. All I could catch was the word "ofuro," - "bath." So I made a noise of general agreement. I had no idea how to carry on the conversation, so I smiled, said the water was very hot, and left.

The entrance of the sento from the street. The symbol on the sign means it is a public bath house.

 The entrance inside the sento - make sure you go in the right side! The symbol on the right (red) is for women.

Historically, peoples' houses did not have baths, so everyone always went to sento to bathe. Nowadays almost all houses have baths, so the sento is more of a social activity. It is a unique and relaxing way to spend a couple of hours.

Update

In the last 3 months, I've been busy adjusting to life in Japan. A new apartment, new job, new friends, new language, new food, new routine... yeah, it's a lot to get used to.

First 24 hrs OSAKA

Helsinki

The end of a chapter

I ran into my boss at the printer yesterday as I was picking up some financial paperwork about the closing on my apartment. I told her about it and today she asked me if it was a good thing (most people just assume it is), and if it was the end of a chapter in my life. This made me realize that yes, it is most definitely the end of a chapter. She said that we all go through many chapters in life.


This last year was a crazy ride. I traveled around the US to Honolulu, New York City, Portland (ME), Minneapolis, Washington, D.C., and Chicago. I worked as an English teacher and tour guide at an international teenagers camp. I was a Spanish teacher and girls' soccer coach at a modern orthodox Jewish high school  until last September when I quit to follow my dream of getting my masters in TESOL at Boston University, which I am finishing the last class for at the moment. I student taught and I worked as a substitute teacher and researcher this whole year at BU's English Language Program and enjoyed it immensely. I worked with many talented, experienced teachers and got to know ESL students from around the world, including a special group of teenage guys from Saudi Arabia. I biked to work and class almost every day. I ended a relationship, I reflected, I finally learned to look for love in myself and not someone else.


I sold my apartment. I'm selling all my furniture and getting rid of everything that I don't absolutely need. I helped start a weekend pick-up soccer group with friends and strangers. I volunteered at the Dance Complex and attended ballet and flamenco dance classes, pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I tried eating only raw food for a week. I did a lemonade diet. I saw my extended family for the first time in several years at a family reunion. I applied for a Fulbright Grant and didn't get it. I am applying again for next year. I had many great gatherings with my TESOL program classmates, including a Thanksgiving dinner with 19 guests in my 400sq ft condo. I tried "hot" vinyasa yoga with friends. I tried a kickboxing class and a Turkish language class at BU. I got a sailing & kayaking pass and have taken out several friends on the water. I've gone on "epic" bike rides along the Charles River with friends. I went salsa, samba and forro dancing. I've had dates with movies, food, and drinks. I read several books, text books and others about travel and adventure. I've volunteered at local festivals. I've met some great people. I've had a few friendships come and go, but best of all I've seen some endure the test of time and geography.


So some things are over, some things will never be the same. But some things endure, I find out more about relationships, who my friends are and who I am and what I want in life. I had all these experiences and hopefully, and most importantly, learned to be a better person from them.

River Fest Volunteer

My friend and co-worker Jen invited me to volunteer with her on Saturday for the Cambridge River Festival, an annual event featuring live music, dance and art performances. At first because it started at 7am, I wasn't sure, but I am so glad I agreed to go. It was so nice to spend the morning with her and we met some other interesting people too, especially Alicia. She just moved to Boston and is such a positive, energetic and resourceful person, I felt more excited about the day just being around her! I was reminded that when you volunteer for events, or go out of your way to do things that you might not normally do, when you get out and help, you meet great people and can have a lot of fun.

This Time

Last time I went to Japan, I was in a relationship. He stayed in Boston and I moved to Japan. The whole time I was there, I constantly doubted my decision to move abroad. Was I ruining my chances at a happy relationship? Was I breaking that guy's heart? The whole time, I worried so much.


This time I don't want to worry, I want to live in the present moment with no strings attached to any relationship or any promise for what might or might not be. I've promised my best friend that I will stay single, that is not in a serious relationship, for 2 years.  Thank goodness for her - She's holding me accountable to myself. This time, it's all about finding out who I am, what my talents are, what is important.

Dust less: Life is better dirty

It's funny how moving makes you realize how much stuff you have.  The process makes you handle every item you own at least once if not multiple times - organizing, choosing what to let go of, what to pack, how to pack it, in what box to pack it, etc. The moving company I'm using, Yamato, actually asks me to make a detailed list of items in every box, so it makes me really notice how much I am packing and how to organize it. Whenever I start to get overwhelmed and stressed, I try to remember to just let things go. They're only things. Sometimes when I think about throwing something away, I hear certain voices saying, "what if you could use it later?... or couldn't you sell it and make some money?... or isn't there someone you could give it to?... what a waste!... don't you know there are poor people who would love to have that thing you're throwing out?"


The voices of self-doubt in my mind might be right. But do you know how much time and energy it takes to sell small items?  Definitely not worth the $1 I might make. Yes, I will try to sell my TV and furniture. But measuring cups? Beer mugs? An ugly orange tank top I never wear?  Those things are going in a box marked "free stuff" that I will put outside my building.


"Free stuff." I like how that sounds, like that 90's movie "Free Willy." Really, wouldn't "stuff" be happier if it were "free?"


It might be more difficult to get certain things in Japan, or more expensive, but not impossible. The world is smaller than ever, and true physical freedom means you have to be portable, mobile, always ready to go on the next adventure.


My philosophy, which comes in part from growing up in cluttered houses, is that stuff not only keeps you from moving physically to a new geographical location, but it keeps your mind cluttered with worries (where did I put my passport?... maybe I should dust the bookshelf?... or iron the drapes?.... polish the end tables?...). Open space = an open mind. Your physical environment, meaning your apartment, desk, computer, and even the way you dress, mirrors what is inside your mind. The more attached you are to things, the less willing you are to give things away, be generous with your possessions and even your less tangible gifts.  If there are papers to file, clothes to iron (I swear to never again own clothing that needs ironing, much less an iron), or books to dust, how can you go out into the world and meet your destiny, fulfill your dreams, meet, help and learn from other people?  Dust less, get dirty more - playing soccer with friends, helping construct houses with Habitat for Humanity, or planting flowers in your garden.


As soon as I finish writing this, I am throwing out my feather duster and re-labeling my "stuff to maybe bring" box to "free stuff." Now, the time I would have spent listing the contents of the "maybe" box is free time... and the possibilities are endless.

Portland, Maine

What is it about certain smells, feelings, names, and places that can evoke so many memories?  The brain makes connections based on senses and it seems that some memories are just waiting for a trigger to bring them back to our conscious thoughts.  I went to Portland to see my mom over this Mother's Day for a long weekend.  On the first morning, I went for a 5-mile jog from the East End to the West End of Portland and back.  Jogging up the hill on the East side, I remembered sailing in Casco Bay with my college team mates and our coach, and then instructing sailing for a summer. I remember that whole summer I refused to shave my legs because I was trying out being "natural." Thank goodness that didn't last too long. Jogging down Congress Street, I saw Zarra's Cafe was still there, and I remembered my college friend Ruthy introducing me to Zarra the first week he opened his Cafe about 7 years ago. I ran past the library, and the Longfellow Garden where my friends John & Jess got married. I ran past the Dunkin' Donuts and Portland Hall, places where I would go with my American and Japanese roommates during the Rissho Program. As I jogged past these places, I just saw them for a few seconds, but faces, feelings and the memories of doing these everyday activities came rushing back just from the blueprint of the place in my mind, like a visual combination that opens up a lock on the "memory" safe. Well, I also ran by the Dominican corner store that opened up shortly after I broke up with my Dominican boyfriend, who I lived with (along with his little brother) for a year or so in the back of that big blue apartment building on Park St. in front of Deering Oaks Park. I ran by there, too, and realized I had forgotten that the apartment where I lived before was right next door - my first place living with roommates.  They were both musicians, Alison and Nick.  I remember the last time I went up to Portland I ran into him. It was about 6 years after we had been roommates, but instantly we recognized each other.  Each time I go up to Portland, which is at least a few times a year, I'm always amazed at all the changes. There's more development on the Old Port and there's always new restaurants or different stores. But, I can see the old Portland in my memories wont go away. The only places, people and things that stay the same are in our memories. As a phrase I like says, "The only constant is change."

My Happy Places

Just taking a moment to think about the places where I've been the happiest...
Boston - these last few months, in grad school, single, biking everyday, working at the University and especially these last couple days being SO incredibly active outdoors, playing all kids of sports and spending lots of time with friends makes me feel so happy
Brazil - in Florianopolis playing around on the beach with friends, or in Rio drinking a fresh acai smoothie while talking with friends or just watching people walk by...
Japan - going out dancing with friends, exploring my town on bicycle, exploring Kyoto with friends
Hawaii - surfing at Waikiki, snorkling at Hanauma Bay, visiting my childhood neighborhood
Dominican Republic - dancing all night on the beach until the sun comes up, motorcycle riding

Osaka-Kobe-Kyoto

Osaka-Kobe-Kyoto is the ninth largest city in the world by population - over 17 million people - 2,500 people per square km.  I'm soooo excited to move there.  When I lived in Maine, I wanted to move to Boston, the "big city."  When I first moved there, I remember feeling overwhelmed and lost, even like I didn't belong.  Now that I've been in Boston for about 5 years, I know it like my own house.  Osaka-Kobe-Kyoto: I'm ready to be overwhelmed again!

Osaka: 

Why Move Back to Japan?

This is the question I've been trying to answer, for myself, for the last couple of weeks since I got offered a job in Osaka. Here's what I've reasoned with myself:

• professionally, I'll get solid full-time experience teaching Business English, including opportunities to create materials and incorporate what I've learned during the last year in my masters in TESOL program
• personally, I'll be able to meet with old friends living in Japan
• make lots of new friends and get involved in a new international community in Osaka
• there's soccer, salsa, samba and capoeira in Osaka, and obviously I will also be able to explore Japanese arts and culture more too
• I love Japanese festivals
• great food, and hopefully I can learn more about Japanese cuisine and how to actually cook it
• as a "tourist," I can explore Japan more 
• I want my family and friends to come visit so I can show them around 
• I can learn more Japanese
• I want to ski, surf, hike and bike in Japan
• I can photograph, record and write more about living in Japan
• I'll learn more from a different way of life than continuing my current routine

So, I said Yes to Japan.... I'm moving back in 2 months!

Learning a foreign language when you're not in a foreign country

Well, I'm preparing a final 20-page paper for my "Second Language Acquisition" class.  I'll summarize the most interesting points here:


Students learning English in other countries (EFL) are just as capable of learning pragmatics (the meaning behind what we say as opposed to the literal definition) as ESL learners, they just need competent teachers who are able and willing to directly teach how English speakers accomplish certain things with language in an appropriate way, such as requesting, inviting, refusing and commanding.


A student's motivation plays a big role in how much he learns in language class.  In other words, you have to actively negotiate meaning, notice differences between your first language and the second language, and make an effort to practice the language as much as possible. You can't just passively sit in language class for an hour 3x a week and "absorb" the language.


Group dynamics in the classroom are also really important.  If the group norms are positive, students will be motivated to perform more, and vice versa if the norms are not so good.  This is especially true for teenage learners, as peer pressure is really strong at this point.


Older language learners actually learn faster than younger language learners at first.  After about a year, the younger learners will surpass the older learners in an ESL setting.  There hasn't been any research about whether younger learners would surpass older learners in an EFL setting.  In conclusion, age is no excuse for not trying to learn a new language.  The most important factor in learning a new language is to be aware of your first language's grammar and use and try to notice how the foreign language is different.


Intercultural communication is as important as learning the structure of a language, if not more important.  Grammatical fluency is not the same as cultural/pragmatic fluency!  Be a bit of an anthropologist and you will have much more success in communicating in your new language!  Also it is important to establish your foreign language identity, keeping in mind the norms of the new foreign language. Try to ADD to your existing first language identity, instead of subtracting from it.


What I'm learning is that people's top 2 excuses for not picking up a new language: 1) I can't afford to study abroad and 2) I'm too old to learn, are not true at all!  Even if you opt for the "I don't have time" excuse, it is still not entirely true.  If you focus your efforts and have realistic goals, you can at least learn enough to interact with people from that language group on a basic level.

handshake, kiss, or??

I met an Albanian today for tea. When we greeted each other for the first time, he went for a handshake and I went for a kiss on the cheek. I didn't even think about it, I did it out of habit, knowing instinctively that when I meet a European or South American, you kiss on the cheek. He probably thought that when meeting an American, you shake hands. We were both accomodating to each other's cultural norms but it was just as awkward as if we hadn't!
For the last 8 years, I've been doing everything to learn about different cultures and languages. Sometimes I think I am well prepared as a multi-cultural communicator, but then again sometimes when both people are well versed in many cultures, and accomodate for each other, there is no way to know "who has the ball in their court" culturally.

Saying Goodbyes, Remembering Hellos

Elizabeth, a very strong and outgoing Chinese woman, surprised me when she broke down in tears today in class. We started talking about how far we've come in English since January, the beginning of the semester. She described, in her incorrect and broken but basically understandable English, how when she arrived all alone in the US she couldn't understand anything the customs officials ("police" at the airport) asked her. The fact that this memory made her cry shows how stressful it can be to be an outsider culturally and linguistically. The good thing is, she and all the other students in class have come quite a long way in their language and cultural skills in three months.
Other students from Saudi Arabia described long ordeals at immigration after already having traveled for over 24 hours. Most were extensively interviewed, their belongings searched, some held in immigration offices for over two hours. They needed translators, but apparently there were none available. There was a simple misunderstanding for Mohammad, where the customs official asked him if he was carrying any cash. He said yes, about $900. His English was really non-existent at that point and the official thought Mohammad had said $19,000 or some similarly huge amount. So he was taken in for an interview and search. Only about an hour later did the offical think to ask Mohammad to write down the number, the amount of cash he was carrying. That cleared things up, thankfully.
If we look at these experiences with a positive attitude, we can chalk them up to memorable life experiences. Maybe they will teach us some lesson, or let us see things from another point of view, or at least feel happy about the moments in life when we are doing something more enjoyable than standing in line at immigration in JFK Airport.

I never thought I would ever even meet people from the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia, let alone get to know them on a day-to-day basis through my job teaching. These are some of the students I work with who are from the KSA. I have to admit that because I knew before the KSA is a very conservative country that I had my stereotypes about how I thought these guys would be, and some of my assumptions were not positive. However, they prove once again that the people of a country are quite different from the country's government policy and government leaders. These students have, perhaps unwittingly, broken down all the stereotypes I once had about the KSA and people from there. I think very highly of them and it is truly a pleasure to spend time with them. I have the best job in the world, which allows me to meet and learn from students around my same age but from very different cultures. 

Field Trip to Old Sturbridge Village

So much has happened in the last year that I don't even know where to begin. I haven't written in this blog very often, so there is a lot of time to make up. But I think instead of glossing over the last several months, it is more interesting to capture smaller moments that represent a greater experience.
With that in mind, here's an account of today (unfortunately I forgot my camera today):
I helped lead a field trip to Sturbridge Village in Massachusetts for a group of ESL students. My group of 10 students were from Turkey, Korea, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Thailand, Senegal and Taiwan (and maybe a couple other places - I didn't get the chance to ask all of them). I told them they could walk around as they pleased, but they were so sweet and nice that they said no, we want you to come with us! So I walked around the historical village, which is remade to look like 1800's New England, with these students. The guy from Turkey is from a small village there and he said that basically its the same as this historical village. So this special field trip for us became a reminder of his hometown! The potter, the one-room school house, the scythes used to cut grass and the livestock all reminded him of his birth place in the present day. It makes me wonder, what it is that makes a small town in Turkey hold on to these traditions, but a small town in the US so fast to loose them? Is it because Turkey is a much older country, with an ancient culture?
One of the students was a girl from Osaka, Japan, and we talked a little about living there. Then for some reason she was really curious to know if we have bidet toilets in the US so we talked a bit about that, too. Its curious to see what topics come up when comparing countries and cultures.
Unfortunately it started to rain pretty heavily before lunch time, so since we were all pretty cold and wet we ended up leaving a bit early. But the students all seemed to be in good spirits, so it was a fun trip.
Of course I really love the fact that I actually get paid to do things like this with such interesting people. On the other hand, there are times when I wish I was just one of the students and that I could get to know them more personally. Its a different relationship when I am the teacher, even though I have a great report with most students. I think that one day if and when we are not in the teacher/student dichotomy, I could become better friends with these students. But for now, it is what it is. I am just lucky to come into contact with so many people of all ages from all different countries around the world. I learn new things about people and places all the time: for example, today I learned that Turkey and Senegal are both largely Muslim countries, but that Turkey is also home to many Jews and Christians.
The more you know, the richer your experience!

"Warp Speed" - a rainy day story

Set a new destination, and Go! I drove on auto-pilot, following the GPS for miles before I realized I had no idea where I was anymore. I had a vague recollection of what the destination was, but I couldn’t remember it clearly. I was alone, watching the highway but not seeing anything. I had entered a dream state, hypnotized by the white noise of the engine, the rain and wind hitting the hood and the defrost blowing against the windshield. I was aware of the shoulder of the road in the periphery, flowing as if it were a gray stream of water, a brook that couldn’t stop, forced by time and nature to keep moving. For a moment I wasn’t sure if my foot was on the gas pedal or if the road itself was pushing me forward. I blinked hard to make sure I hadn’t dozed off, to make sure I was still awake.
I didn’t remember starting the car, pulling out onto the street or going up the entry ramp to the highway. I didn’t even remember how long I had been driving, minutes or hours? Suddenly the questions left my mind when I heard an assertive but feminine voice. She gave me directions to stay to the left, but the highway was already forking and I had stayed to the right. It was too late to listen to her and her lagging instructions. “Recalculating. . .”
I heard the authoritative, feminine voice again – but it wasn’t the GPS this time, it was my mothers - “You move at warp speed, always going so fast through life.”
Her voice brought a sign into focus. White letters on green, her favorite color: roadside rest, .5 miles. Literally a sign, an instruction from my mother that for once I gave in to without thinking. I eased my right foot off of the gas, decelerated and pulled off the road into the rest area where I parked. I turned off the ignition, leaned back on the headrest and closed my eyes. I paused and my senses returned. I heard the rain hit the roof and the windshield, slower now that I was still, and I thought I could hear each drop distinctly. They were falling in groups of three – drop, drop, drop - as if each was thanking me for slowing down, stopping here and listening, listening, listening…